it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
