You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
