you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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