Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
