Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
