Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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