I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I came so hard my ears popped.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
