i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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