I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
