i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
