My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
