Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
