I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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