It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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