it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
