She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
