I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize