i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
