Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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