i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
