I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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