Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
