Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
