So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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