If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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