I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
