I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
