I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
