ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Acid is not a monday night drug
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
