I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
