Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize