you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
