:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
