My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
