You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
