I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
