Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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