But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
