he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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