You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
