it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
