HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
