Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
