for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize