I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
