East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I will be naked everywhere
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
