you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
