Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My dick has a subreddit
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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