some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
