I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
