Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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