i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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