guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
