Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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