i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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