i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
