New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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