Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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