you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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