it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
