all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
