Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
