I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
