I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
