I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I cut my penus on the lid.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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