in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize