I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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