Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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