i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We have started to decorate penises.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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