Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
