Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry harney08 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(626): View more from California

and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?

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(914): View more from New York

My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse

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(518): View more from New York

Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis

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(989): View more from Michigan

You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN

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(314): View more from Missouri

I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.

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(907): View more from Alaska

My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned

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