i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
His nipple licking is glorious
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